15 First Date Mistakes That Will Kill Your Chances of a Second Date

Ah, the first date—a thrilling mix of excitement, nerves, and the hope that this might just be the start of something special. But let’s be real: first dates can also feel like navigating a minefield. One wrong move, and BOOM! No second date.

To help you avoid first-date disaster, we’re breaking down the 15 biggest mistakes that could send your romantic potential straight into the friend zone—or worse, the “never again” zone. Let’s dive in!

1. Arriving Late

Nothing screams “I don’t value your time” like showing up late. Punctuality is a basic sign of respect, and being tardy can make your date feel like an afterthought. Even worse? If you don’t acknowledge or apologize for being late. Life happens, of course, but a quick text saying, “Hey, I’m running 5 minutes behind—so sorry! Can’t wait to see you” shows consideration.

Pro tip: Plan for traffic, unexpected delays, or last-minute outfit changes. Aim to arrive 5–10 minutes early to show you’re excited and dependable.

2. Talking Too Much About Yourself

Yes, your date wants to get to know you, but that doesn’t mean they want your entire life story in one sitting. A conversation should be a two-way street, not a monologue.

Pro tip: Follow the “40/60 rule”—talk about yourself 40% of the time and let your date take the other 60%. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s something you’re really passionate about?” instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.

3. Bringing Up Exes

There’s no faster way to make a first date awkward than bringing up past relationships. Whether you’re ranting about an ex or reminiscing about how “amazing” they were, it can make your date feel like they’re just a rebound or comparison.

Pro tip: Keep the conversation focused on the present and future. If the topic of past relationships naturally comes up, keep it brief and neutral.

4. Overindulging in Alcohol

A drink or two to ease the nerves? Totally fine. Getting sloshed to the point of slurred words and bad decisions? Not a good look. Being drunk on a first date can come across as reckless or inconsiderate, and it can make your date uncomfortable.

Pro tip: If you’re drinking, match your date’s pace and always know your limits.

5. Neglecting Personal Hygiene & Appearance

Looks aren’t everything, but let’s be honest—nobody wants to sit across from someone who looks like they just rolled out of bed. Bad breath, wrinkled clothes, or an overpowering amount of cologne/perfume can all be deal-breakers.

Pro tip: Dress for the occasion and pay attention to the details. Clean clothes, fresh breath, and well-groomed hair can make a world of difference.

6. Choosing the Wrong Venue

Picking a spot that’s too loud, too fancy, or too casual can create an awkward dynamic. A first date should allow for easy conversation and a comfortable atmosphere.

Pro tip: Choose a setting that’s neutral and engaging—think a cozy café, a fun activity like mini golf, or a casual restaurant with good vibes.

7. Being Negative or Complaining Too Much

Constantly complaining about work, life, or the service at the restaurant can make you seem pessimistic. Nobody wants to spend time with a Negative Nancy or a Downer Dan.

Pro tip: Keep things light and positive. Even if you had a bad day, focus on making the date enjoyable. Positivity is attractive!

8. Checking Your Phone Too Often

Unless you’re expecting an emergency call, keep your phone out of sight. Constantly looking at your screen sends the message that you’re bored or uninterested.

Pro tip: Put your phone on silent and focus on your date. Give them your full attention—they’ll notice and appreciate it.

9. Bringing Up Controversial Topics Too Soon

Politics, religion, and money—these can be hot-button topics, especially with someone you just met. While deep discussions can be great, the first date isn’t always the best time to debate world issues.

Pro tip: Stick to light, engaging topics that reveal your personalities without causing unnecessary tension.

10. Not Showing Gratitude

A simple “thank you” can go a long way. Whether they picked the place, paid the bill, or just made you laugh, showing appreciation makes you stand out.

Pro tip: Gratitude isn’t just polite—it’s attractive. A follow-up text like, “I had such a great time tonight—thank you for the laughs!” can also work wonders.

11. Interrupting or Talking Over Your Date

No one likes to be cut off mid-sentence. It’s rude and signals that you value your own words more than theirs.

Pro tip: Practice active listening—nod, make eye contact, and respond thoughtfully rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.

12. Coming on Too Strong

There’s a fine line between showing interest and being overwhelming. Saying “I can already see us getting married” on a first date? Yikes.

Pro tip: Flirting and expressing interest is great, but let things progress naturally. Give your date space to process and reciprocate feelings.

13. Ignoring Boundaries

Not everyone has the same comfort level with physical touch, personal space, or certain topics. Pushing boundaries can make your date uncomfortable.

Pro tip: Pay attention to body language and verbal cues. If your date leans away when you touch their hand, take it as a sign to slow down.

14. Not Following Up After the Date

If you had a good time and want to see them again, don’t play games. Waiting too long to follow up can make your date think you’re not interested.

Pro tip: If you’re interested, send a quick message within 24 hours. Something simple like, “I had such a great time tonight—would love to see you again!” works wonders.

15. Not Being Yourself

At the end of the day, the best way to secure a second date is by being authentic. Pretending to be someone you’re not will only backfire down the line.

Pro tip: Confidence and authenticity are attractive. Be yourself, and the right person will appreciate you for who you truly are.

By avoiding these common first-date blunders, you’ll increase your chances of making a great impression and landing that second date.

Want more dating tips and insights? Check out our other articles to keep leveling up your love life!