Why Some Cultures Consider Holding Hands Taboo

Picture this: You’re strolling down a sunlit street, hand-in-hand with your date, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe you’re already imagining a cute Instagram caption. But what if we told you that, in some parts of the world, that innocent little hand-hold could turn heads — and not in the "aww, relationship goals" kind of way?

In fact, in some cultures, romantic hand-holding is considered taboo, inappropriate, or even downright scandalous. So, why is something as seemingly harmless as holding hands so controversial in certain places? Buckle up, because we’re about to take you on a whirlwind tour of global dating customs, cultural dating taboos, and how one simple gesture can mean radically different things depending on where you are.

The Power of the Palm: Why Holding Hands is More Loaded Than You Think

For many of us in the U.S., holding hands is first base — or even pre-base if we’re being honest. It’s sweet, low-pressure, and the kind of innocent affection you might show within the first few dates. But physical touch doesn’t exist in a cultural vacuum. The way couples express affection is shaped by everything from religious beliefs to social norms to what grandma would yell if she saw you canoodling in public.

Hands Speak Different Love Languages

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the author behind The 5 Love Languages, physical touch is one of the primary ways people express and receive love. But here’s the catch: what counts as appropriate physical touch varies wildly across cultures.

In some countries, a lingering hand-hold between romantic partners is sweet. In others, it’s...awkward. Or inappropriate. Or illegal.

Hands Off in the Middle East: Cultural and Religious Boundaries

Let’s start with a region where romantic hand-holding can get you into some serious hot water: the Middle East. In countries like Saudi Arabia or Iran, public displays of affection (PDA) — even something as PG as holding hands — can be seen as a breach of modesty laws.

According to Dr. Amira Mashhour, a sociologist specializing in Middle Eastern gender norms, public physical affection between unmarried couples is often considered disrespectful or immodest. It’s not just a "we’d prefer you didn’t" situation — in some cases, it’s legally restricted.

That’s because Islamic cultural values, which emphasize modesty and family honor, discourage romantic touching outside of marriage. So, if you’re dating in places like Qatar or Oman, you might want to save the hand-holding for private settings — or risk some side-eye (or worse) from passersby.

East Asia’s Quiet Romance: When Holding Hands is "Too Much"

You might assume that hand-holding would be fair game across Asia, but in parts of Japan and South Korea, you’d be wrong. While K-dramas might have you believing that couples are constantly holding hands under cherry blossom trees, the reality is a bit more conservative — especially among older generations.

Public Affection = Private Matter

In many East Asian cultures, including China, Japan, and South Korea, public displays of romantic affection are traditionally seen as embarrassing or even disrespectful. According to Dr. Chie Horiuchi, a researcher in Japanese cultural studies, Japanese dating culture often prioritizes discretion and emotional restraint.

For younger couples, holding hands is becoming more common (especially in trendy neighborhoods in Seoul or Tokyo), but in more traditional areas, it’s still seen as overly intimate. Instead, couples might express affection through small, subtle gestures, like adjusting a scarf or passing a drink — tiny acts that convey care without triggering a public scandal.

Latin America: Passionate Culture, Different Rules

Now, let’s contrast that with Latin America, where relationships tend to be a little more...shall we say...outwardly expressive. In countries like Brazil, Argentina, or Mexico, romantic hand-holding is typically no big deal. In fact, it’s often encouraged.

Affection Everywhere — But Context Matters

In Latin American dating culture, physical touch is a normal and expected part of courtship. A quick peck on the cheek, a casual hand-hold, or a slow dance in a public square? Totally normal. But, there are still some conservative communities, especially in rural areas, where even holding hands might raise eyebrows — particularly if the relationship isn’t “serious” or family-approved.

According to Dr. Maria Paz Lopez, a cultural anthropologist studying Latin American social norms, the emphasis on family reputation in more traditional areas can make public romantic gestures trickier than they seem. Still, compared to some regions, romantic hand-holding in Latin America is usually seen as sweet, not scandalous.

The Colonial Hangover: Cultural Taboos in Former Colonies

In some countries — particularly former British colonies — attitudes toward public affection were shaped by Victorian-era morality. In places like India, Malaysia, or Kenya, conservative attitudes toward PDA persist, even though younger generations are pushing back.

Hand-Holding as a Cultural Flashpoint

In India, for example, public displays of affection (including hand-holding) are frowned upon in many parts of the country, particularly in rural and conservative areas. According to Dr. Ravi Prakash, a sociologist at Jawaharlal Nehru University, colonial-era modesty standards, combined with traditional Hindu values emphasizing family honor, helped shape these norms.

Interestingly, same-sex hand-holding between friends in India is much more culturally acceptable than heterosexual romantic hand-holding, thanks to strong norms around male friendship bonds.

Culture, Context, and the Evolution of Hand-Holding Rules

The beauty (and frustration) of global dating culture is that it’s constantly evolving. What’s taboo today could be trendy tomorrow — and vice versa. The rise of global travel, online dating, and cross-cultural relationships means more people are navigating these unspoken rules than ever before.

And if you’re dating someone from a culture with different expectations around hand-holding, it’s worth having the talk — not the "where is this going?" talk, but the "can we hold hands without causing a scene?" talk.

When in Doubt, Ask: Cross-Cultural Dating Etiquette 101

If you’re in a cross-cultural relationship (or hoping to be), here’s our top tip: ask, don’t assume. Even if you’re both living in the U.S., cultural norms around PDA — including hand-holding — can vary within families and communities.

A few starter questions to keep things comfy:

• “Is public affection normal in your culture?”

• “How do couples usually show they’re together?”

• “Would your family find hand-holding cute or cringe?”

A little curiosity can go a long way — and save you both some awkward public moments.

Want to Hold Hands and Learn More?

Every culture has its quirks, especially when it comes to dating and romance. Whether you’re navigating cultural dating taboos, planning your next romantic getaway, or just curious about love around the world, we’ve got plenty more where this came from. Check out the rest of our site for expert tips, playful advice, and the kind of dating insights that make you say, “Wait, people do that?”