How to Make Her Respond to Your Messages on Dating Apps

We’ve all been there: you craft what feels like the perfect opening line, hit send, and then... nothing. The dreaded silence. The truth is, getting a response on a dating app isn’t just about luck—it’s about strategy, effort, and a little bit of charm. So, if you’re tired of being ghosted before the conversation even starts, it’s time to level up your messaging game. Here’s how to make her respond to your messages on dating apps and, who knows, maybe even get her excited to chat with you.

1. Don’t Just Say “Hey”

Let’s get one thing straight: “Hey,” “Hi,” or “What’s up?” are not opening lines. They’re conversational black holes.

According to a 2018 study conducted by the dating app Hinge, messages that are specific and unique are three times more likely to get a response. Think about it—what can someone even say to “Hey”? It’s a dead-end from the start.

Instead, personalize your opening. Notice something from her profile—a hobby, a picture, or even a witty one-liner she’s written—and comment on it. For example:

• If she has a picture hiking: “That trail looks amazing! Is it nearby, or did you travel for it?”

• If her bio says, “Lover of tacos”: “Okay, serious question: soft shell or hard shell? There’s only one right answer.”

These kinds of openers show that you’ve actually taken the time to read her profile and spark curiosity, which is much harder to ignore.

2. Keep It Light, But Show Effort

No one logs onto a dating app thinking, I’d love to have a conversation that feels like a job interview today. Yet, some guys still open with, “What do you do for work?” or “Where are you from?” While these aren’t bad questions, they don’t inspire much excitement.

Instead, aim for light and fun. Throw in a little humor or curiosity to keep the conversation engaging. For example:

• “If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? And why is it pizza?”

• “Okay, so who would play you in a movie about your life? Bonus points if you say Ryan Reynolds—he’s everyone’s answer.”

These questions are playful and easy to answer, making her more likely to reply.

3. Timing Is Everything

The time you send your message can make a difference. According to dating app statistics, people are most active on dating apps in the evenings, especially between 7–10 PM. Sending a message during these peak hours increases your chances of getting a timely response because she’s more likely to be online.

Pro Tip: Avoid messaging too late at night. A 1 AM “What’s up?” has strong “I’m bored” vibes, which can come across as lazy or suggest you’re just looking for something casual.

4. Use Humor, But Don’t Overdo It

A little humor can go a long way in making your message stand out. According to a study published in Evolutionary Psychology, humor is seen as a sign of intelligence and likability, both of which are attractive traits.

But here’s the catch: your humor has to feel natural. Don’t force jokes or try to be overly clever, as it can backfire and make you come across as trying too hard. For example:

• A good line: “So, what’s your go-to karaoke song? Asking because I need to know if we’d be compatible at a karaoke bar.”

• A bad line: “Are you a magician? Because every time I look at your profile, everyone else disappears.”

See the difference? Playful is good; cheesy pick-up lines? Not so much.

5. Avoid Overwhelming Her

So, you’ve sent her a message. Now what? Wait. Resist the urge to send a follow-up an hour later if she hasn’t responded.

Double texting too soon can feel pushy or desperate. According to a study by Pew Research, many women report feeling overwhelmed on dating apps because of the sheer volume of messages they receive. Give her time to respond—it’s not personal if she doesn’t reply immediately.

6. Be Genuine and Authentic

Authenticity is the ultimate game-changer. Women can spot a copy-paste message from a mile away, and it’s an instant turnoff. If you’re sending the same “What’s your favorite travel destination?” to everyone, it shows a lack of effort.

Instead, tailor your message to her profile and be yourself. If you’re genuinely into hiking, don’t be afraid to geek out about your favorite trails if you see she’s a nature lover too. The more authentic you are, the more you’ll connect with the right matches.

7. Show Some Emotional Intelligence

Empathy and emotional intelligence can help you stand out from the crowd. Instead of rushing to ask questions about her, respond thoughtfully to what she says. If she mentions being passionate about photography, follow up with something like:

“That’s so cool! Do you shoot landscapes or portraits? I’ve always been curious how photographers capture emotions so well.”

Showing genuine interest in her passions makes the conversation flow naturally and creates a positive impression.

8. Don’t Be Overly Complimentary

While compliments are nice, going overboard can feel insincere. Saying, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!” might seem flattering, but it can come across as overly intense or unoriginal.

Instead, offer specific, subtle compliments. For instance:

• “Your smile in that second photo looks so genuine—it’s awesome.”

• “I love that you’re into books. Any recommendations for someone looking to get back into reading?”

These feel more thoughtful and less like you’re just trying to win her over.

9. Avoid Controversial Topics Right Away

Dating apps aren’t the place for political debates or hot-button topics—not in the first few messages, anyway. Bringing up controversial issues too early can make the conversation feel tense or combative, which is the opposite of what you want.

Stick to neutral, lighthearted subjects until you’ve established a rapport. There’s plenty of time to discuss deeper topics later.

10. End Your Messages with a Question

One of the simplest ways to keep a conversation going is by ending your message with a question. Open-ended questions are especially effective because they require more than just a “yes” or “no” response.

For example:

• Instead of: “I see you love traveling!”

• Try: “I see you love traveling! What’s the most amazing place you’ve ever visited?”

This invites her to share more about herself and keeps the dialogue flowing.

11. Avoid Typos and Lazy Messaging

It might seem minor, but spelling and grammar matter. A message like “ur so cute, wht r u up 2” doesn’t exactly scream, “I’m worth your time.”

Put in the effort to spell words correctly and use punctuation—it shows you care about making a good impression.

12. Know When to Move On

Not every conversation is meant to be, and that’s okay. If she doesn’t respond after a couple of days, don’t take it personally. Dating apps are a numbers game, and not every match will lead to a connection.

Stay positive, keep putting in the effort, and remember that the right person will appreciate the energy you bring to the conversation.

Wrapping It Up

Messaging on dating apps can feel like navigating a maze, but with the right strategies, you can drastically improve your chances of getting a response. Focus on crafting thoughtful, engaging messages that reflect your personality and show genuine interest in hers.

And hey, if you’re looking for more tips to keep the conversation going, plan the perfect first date, or even decode dating app algorithms, stick around! There’s plenty more where this came from to help you win in the dating game.